Turn off the screens and make your kids bored!
Yesterday I witnessed a sight that took my breath away – my thirteen year old son, who is probably clinically borderline ADHD but who we like to call ‘spirited’ – sitting on the couch, lost in … a book! A real live very thick fantasy paperback! I had to grab a wall so as not to drop to the ground. (If he had been aware of me he would have rolled his eyes and said ‘oh Mom!’ – but he wasn’t)
What brought on this completely out-of-character behavior from my child, who tells me over and over he hates to read? A little creative parental discipline. We had one too many disagreements with a teacher over whether homework is optional (my son thinks it is, the teachers and parents not so much), so we put in place a ‘to the end of the term’ restriction – no more TV or recreational computer during the school week. It’s a restriction we’ve used off and on over the years with my kids, depending upon attention to school work and parental time and energy to monitor it. My hope, of course, was that then they would have more time and mental energy to remember and do their homework. That’s been a hit or miss effect. The unintended, surprise outcome (which I probably should have expected) was that, they’re bored, unused as they are to finding entertainment that didn’t involve planting themselves in front of a screen and letting someone else take over their minds.
Boredom in children, I find, is a good thing, a necessary thing. Because everyone can only take so much boredom. In their search to relieve it, they’ll do a lot of things they wouldn’t normally do, or wouldn’t do a lot of – read, practice instruments, play board games. These activities, let’s face it, take more effort, more engagement, and more mental energy, especially for the ‘flickers’ generation. I find if you ask them to do these things, while they’re in front of a screen, or when being in front of a screen is an option, you often get a fight, and a lot of edginess. It’s amazing how the fight goes away, and the edginess eases, not just when you turn the screens off, but when the option is removed.
I’ll end with a story about the musical family Leahy, one of the most amazing phenomena I’ve ever witnessed. They’re a wonderful family of musicians, 11 children, who grew up near where we used to live in Ontario. If you ever get a chance to see them in your area, run, don’t walk, to the ticket booth. They all play multiple instruments and step-dance, often at the same time. Various combinations of 8 or 9 of them perform together at any one time. Can you imagine keeping that many kids occupied growing up? I can’t. But I do know that they grew up dancing and practicing music on their farm – with no TV. Makes me think a lot.
So I’m not advocating throwing out the TV (I admit I’d be lost without my Buffalo Bills in the Fall!), but I am advocating keeping a weathery eye out for an reason to turn it off for planned amounts of time. Nothing like a questionable report card or over-curfew transgression as an excuse to say – ‘okay, turning the screens off during the week’. Maybe your kids will get bored too, and surprise you with how they decide to fill their newly found time.
-Kelsey Lewis
Shamelessly Erotic
www.kelsey-lewis.com
What brought on this completely out-of-character behavior from my child, who tells me over and over he hates to read? A little creative parental discipline. We had one too many disagreements with a teacher over whether homework is optional (my son thinks it is, the teachers and parents not so much), so we put in place a ‘to the end of the term’ restriction – no more TV or recreational computer during the school week. It’s a restriction we’ve used off and on over the years with my kids, depending upon attention to school work and parental time and energy to monitor it. My hope, of course, was that then they would have more time and mental energy to remember and do their homework. That’s been a hit or miss effect. The unintended, surprise outcome (which I probably should have expected) was that, they’re bored, unused as they are to finding entertainment that didn’t involve planting themselves in front of a screen and letting someone else take over their minds.
Boredom in children, I find, is a good thing, a necessary thing. Because everyone can only take so much boredom. In their search to relieve it, they’ll do a lot of things they wouldn’t normally do, or wouldn’t do a lot of – read, practice instruments, play board games. These activities, let’s face it, take more effort, more engagement, and more mental energy, especially for the ‘flickers’ generation. I find if you ask them to do these things, while they’re in front of a screen, or when being in front of a screen is an option, you often get a fight, and a lot of edginess. It’s amazing how the fight goes away, and the edginess eases, not just when you turn the screens off, but when the option is removed.
I’ll end with a story about the musical family Leahy, one of the most amazing phenomena I’ve ever witnessed. They’re a wonderful family of musicians, 11 children, who grew up near where we used to live in Ontario. If you ever get a chance to see them in your area, run, don’t walk, to the ticket booth. They all play multiple instruments and step-dance, often at the same time. Various combinations of 8 or 9 of them perform together at any one time. Can you imagine keeping that many kids occupied growing up? I can’t. But I do know that they grew up dancing and practicing music on their farm – with no TV. Makes me think a lot.
So I’m not advocating throwing out the TV (I admit I’d be lost without my Buffalo Bills in the Fall!), but I am advocating keeping a weathery eye out for an reason to turn it off for planned amounts of time. Nothing like a questionable report card or over-curfew transgression as an excuse to say – ‘okay, turning the screens off during the week’. Maybe your kids will get bored too, and surprise you with how they decide to fill their newly found time.
-Kelsey Lewis
Shamelessly Erotic
www.kelsey-lewis.com
posted by Kelsey Lewis | 6:09 AM
2 Comments:
I love this Kelsey,
I have a very active 12 year old girl and I keep her into everthing - Scouts, sports, student coucil, theatre, etc - to keep her away from the TV. And believe me that is the first thing that goes when the hammer needs to come down.
My husband thinks I'm crazy, but if it wasn't for him, I probably wouldn't have a TV. Not because I don't like it - I do - too much sometimes, but because it's such a brain-sucking time drainer. I feel terribly guilty when I find I've just wasted two hours of my life in front of the tube....no matter how good the movie or show was.
On a brighter note, welcome to AuthorIsland!!! I'm really looking forward to working with you and I know you're gonna love the hammock I've set up for you under the palms!
Have a wonderful Mother's Day and I'll be talking to you soon.
DeNita
AuthorIsland.com
Hi Kelsey, great blog topic. It's just as hard for parents to retrain themselves too. Playing video games was always the reward for when my boys did something good, when really, I should have been scooting them outside to play.
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